Friday, April 11, 2008
Long time no blog.
ToOoOoOo many things happen.

To many people who asked,"So how's you and her?"
My reply will always be,"hanging in the air, like rope, anytime will break. I'm still waiting for her."
Simple isn't it? I had to go through so much.
Where the problems lies?
80% of the problems doesn't lay on me.
So what can I do? The most I can, is to save the other 20% of the relationship.

I don't blame her?
A part of me hated her.
Big part of me love her?
Hatred.
Loves.
Regrets.
Sorrow.
Anger.
Etc... Etc... Etc...

Who will understand me?
Many asked me to give up.
Many asked me to wait.
Many wondering how come I love her so deep.
Many wondering how lame can I be.
Many wondering how stupid can I become.]
Who really understand the depth of love I had for her?
No one can understand, except me.

The love getting lesser, lesser, lesser...
How long can I still wait?
Though we go out, though we chat, though we sms, though we msn.
She's no longer my girl. She's not the one I knew.
What can I do about it? Too many things complicate the matters.
She can't figure out. She can't think.
I really dunno what she wants.
I hate her for being indecisive.
She keep torturing me.

So wtf am I writing this blog?
So wtf am I updating this blog?
Will she ever read?
This blog is ours.
But she had posted less than 5 posts.
I want to close this blog soon.
Will open my own blog.

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漆 @ 9:48 PM

Friday, March 28, 2008































Finally, outing with my buddy. Accompany Regina & Dom to bugis. Ate at Fish & Co.
Can see that she is such a cam-whore.
Long time since we both took photos.
Like almost half a year?
Since I alway absent from school due to MCs.
Even though at that moment, wonder if my smile is real?
I can't bring myself to smile when I thought of Neko.
How I wish I am able to be like her.
Able to block me out of her mind whenever she wants.
Like that I can be more free, more "relax" as what she always asked me to.
If there's a day I can relax means she is completely out of my life?
I'm not sure.
2 mths, is that excuse? Is that what you really wish for?
Is the 2mths what you really want to save this relationship?
Or is that an excuse to make me lose my love, and eventually leave you aside?
Or is that an excuse to make youself to lose your love, and eventually leave me aside?
Haix. Only you know. I don't know what you thinking?
Because you will never tell me anything?
Those above photos are photos that I forget to post.
The green tongue monster is my mummy.
The gay dressing pinky guy is my God-Brother.
I guess that's all.
Neko, do you really love me?
Neko, do you really want to save this relationship?
Neko, do you really miss me?
Only you know bahx.
Don't be indecisive.
Don't waste time k?
Take care.
Love you always
and I miss you a lot.

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漆 @ 3:45 PM

Thursday, March 27, 2008
what should I do now?
my life changed 360 degree.
i keep numbing myself by doing something,
keeping myself busy.

is hard to see what my future lies ahead.
where is she, my loved?
should I give up, should I perserve?
photos flashed through,
tears rolling downs,
sorrow pour out.

her life is still the same,
go to work, go back home, watch tv, sleep.
find friends, go out, enjoy.
my life is not the same.
wake up, do my stuffs, do my stuffs, do my stuffs,
cont. to do my stuffs.
i had no mood to go out at all.

how come she is able to do so?
is it I am so weak?
or is it she is emotionless, heartless or no feelings?
this r/s how?
no one can teach me, no one can guide me.
is just let nature take course?

what should I do now?
what is she feeling, thinking or doing?
maybe she is feeling nth, thinking nth, doing nth?

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漆 @ 12:10 AM

Wednesday, March 26, 2008
2 different world.
2 different thinking.
2 different character.
2 different income.
2 different background.
2 different family.
2 different ideal.
2 different mindset.
2 different generation.
2 different health.
2 different environment.
2 different temper.
2 different attitude.
2 different education.
2 different age.
2 different style.
2 different taste.
2 different dialect.
2 different etc etc etc...

2 same surname.

Can these 2 be together?

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漆 @ 3:45 PM

Thursday, March 20, 2008
Will anyone tell me what to do?
My exam is gone.
I had no mood to take the exam.
I don't know what to do.
For 2 weeks, studied throughout the nitex.
Now it seems like just an empty shell.

Paid $50 for the exams.
Now, how? Another $50 again.
Haix. I felt so lost.
No direction.
My lungs aren't able to take it anymore.
Is been painful throughout these few days.

Haix. Who is here for me now?
No one? Dare mo iru ka?
I will go crazy. I need see a doctor.
Get myself sleeping pills.
I need to make myself sleep.
I really don't know why I studied so hard.
Is really a waste?
Nvm. This blog is only for me to let out my sorrows.

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漆 @ 6:15 PM


Is over already.
10 mths ended so fast.
What I had alway believed is a dream.
It will never come true.

Thank for all the memories.
Thank for all the sweetness.
Thank for all the bitterness.
Thank for all the sourness.
Thank for all the unhappiness.
Thank for all the happiness.
Thank for all the presents.
Thank for all the touching things you have done.
Thank for all the loneliness.
Thank for all the sadness.
Thank for all the angeryness.
Thank for EVERYTHING.


A path of freedom lay ahead of you.
Choose a better person.
I don't fit to be with ya.
We are two different worlds.
We can't be together.
Is fate that brought us together.
But is ourselves that brought us to an end.

Hope you can move on in life.
Fuifill your interior design dreams.
Wish you lucks in whatever you do.
Remember to take care of your health.
Eat healthy, sleep early, drink more water.


Don't repeat same mistakes again.
You had done wrongs before, so be smart this time.
Btw, I am a woman source. I'm not like "him".
Take care my beloved, Neko.
You are free to go now.
I love you. But I can't anymore.
Huggies & Muackies.
Bye bye.

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漆 @ 5:00 PM

My life is fucking screwed up.
Totally screwed up.
I fucking hate myself.
Can I just drown myself?
I wanna give up!

Tired of everything in life.
Life is fucking meaningless.
What's the meaning of living in
Sorrow, Anger, Jealousy, Unhappiness?

I MIGHT NOT TAKE MY FUCKING EXAM
BECAUSE I HAVE NO MOOD AT ALL !
GOT IT? IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU !
THANK YOU SO MUCH !

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漆 @ 8:15 AM


When I'm happy listenin to the words you speaking,
you brought me an unhappy new.
That's what I will always not wish for,
But it just came true.

Been 8-9mths since then,
But it seems liked yesterday.
Now, you requested for it to occur,
Can I say no?

If I say no,
I will the bad guy.
If I say yes,
I will not be able to take it.
So what reaction do you wish me to give?

Hack care?
Attitude?
Anger?
Sadness?
Tears?
Laughters?
Of which above you wanna me express myself?

Why do you alway gives such pressure?
You asked me to relax.
You asked me to let go.
Great, I almost done it.
But you brought me back again.
I can't take it anymore.

Do you know I can't take it anymore?
Why do you alway push me up the wall?
When have I ever push you up the wall?
I'm unreasonable.
I'm sucker.
I'm bastard.
I'm asshole.
I'm idiot.
I'm nobody.

When have you spare a thought for me?
I don't know?
I not sure.
You alway never express.
What you expect me to know?
I know I have my 6th sense.
Don't abuse it please.

11 hr 30 mins count down.
My hell is waiting for me.
My exam is approaching.
But how?
I can't even focus.
I can't concentrate.
My whole mind is in whirl.
Thinking about what you request.

I studied for a week.
But it will all be down in the drain.
I have nobody to blame.
Blame myself for protecting & loving you so much.
How I wished I had not answer your call.
How I wished I had not contacted you at all.
Then I will not know this heartbreaking news.

Enough Enough. I leave.
I had enough. I vanish ok?
You will feel better off without me.
Yes you will.
Now, what I had studied I had forgotten.
Who gave a damn about it anymore.
Fail then fail. Is just another major Japanese Exam.
Fail then re-take. No big deal right?
Who cares. Hack care attitude surfaced.

I had no mood for exams nor studies.
Thank you for your request.
It makes me wanna kill myself, silence myself to death.

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漆 @ 4:30 AM

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Ureshii !
Yokatta !
Hontou ni !
Owarimashita !
Mou daijoubu !
Yeah !


Hahas. ^_^!"
Results are out.
Improved my GPA.
Passed all modules.

To: Mei Sze
I had not let you down.
I promised you that I will not repeat or fail any modules.
I did it ! I did it !! I did it !!!
I studied so hard, efforts paid off.
Though I din hit 2 points,
But I did my best.
Hope you see it.
I love you !


Chotto matte !
Mada Owarimasen deshita !
Nihon no shiken ga motte imasu !
Ashita ni san ji han kara.
Kyofu ne. Shiken wa A grade ga hoshii desu ne.
Demo mada mada. Tasan benkyoushimasu!
Mou owarimasen ! A grade o iru koto ga dekimasu ka?
Tabun? Awww... Wakaranai.
Demo Ganbatte Takeshi ! =))


Kanji to katakana wa sukoshi muzukashii.
Hanasuru koto ga dekimasen ka?
Ma ma ne. Daijoubu. =))
Takeshi ! Best wishes for myself for tomorrow.
Await good news ! Jiayou ! Hope can bring double happiness
to Neko, Mei Sze, My love. =))

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漆 @ 4:15 PM

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

What to say? nani mo hanasuru.
I miss you a lot but i really dunno what to do?
kimi wa inakute totemo samishii. hontou ni.
Life is not the same anymore.
No msg. No calls.

I'm struggling. I can't slp everyday.
Mai nichi nemasen.
I sleep at 7am, wake up in the afternoon.
hontou ni tsuketeiru.
I'm tired everyday.
I see you online, I wish to talk to you.
But when I talk to you, I dunno what to say.

I'm sorry. Make you angry again.
Haix. I am useless, hopeless guy.
Gomanasai. I will not make you angry again.
I will disappear ok?

I feel so stress.
Exams on thursday.
I feel pressured.
Principal, teachers, myself expect to score an A's.
I don't wanna let them down.
I wanna show you what I'm capable of.

Where are you?
Kimi wa doko.
Tasukete kudasai.
Ima boku wa totemo muryoku.
Tasukete kudasai.

This blog. Will you read?
Yomu? I guess not?
This blog is becoming to be mine.
Is not ours anymore?
Kanahii ne.

Sen nen, roku getsu ni
isshoni blog o shimashita.
Sore kara, hitori de blog o shimashita.
kimi wa doko?
Never mind. Daijoubu.
At least this blog is not dead.

I love you.
Mei Sze.

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漆 @ 5:25 PM

Monday, March 17, 2008

2 weeks?
how am I going to spend it?
is it a holiday? or is a break?

is just 1 day past. but is seemed like years passed.
you have changed a lot.
where are you?
what are you doing?
no calls.
no msg.

is 2 weeks an excuse?
to break free?
to have fun?
to enjoy?
to change?
to think?

which is true?
maybe 2 weeks ltr,
you found out that is alright without me.
is ok without me.

life goes on and on and on.
meaningless, fruitless and countless days.
nt even a msg if you reach hm.

oh well. is over. time for me to move on
in my life too. time for me to settle down.
time for me to leave.

take care, my love.
bye bye.
koko kara kare jya nai.
kiotsu kete kudasai.
tabun, kondo isshoni atta.
wakaranai. kimi mou watashi no jya nai.

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漆 @ 8:00 PM

Sunday, March 16, 2008













Long time never take so many photos.
Maybe is the last time,
That's why so many.

Wore my new spec.
Black as usual, my fav.
Watched 10,000B.C.
Not really nice. Only effects are nice.
Star gazing at esplande again.
But the feeling is different.
The stars are surprisingly bright.
The 3 straight line stars had been shining upon us for the last 1 year.
Wind blew gently on the skin.
Tapping me to sleep.
Sorrows & Sadness poured in.
Nothing can explain the feeling.

7 hours spent together.
No fights, no quarrels.
Only sweetness & laughters.
Trying to give my best.
Best memories for her.

Tabun owarimashita.
watashi tachi isshoni ai suru koto ga dekimasu ka?
sen nen kara kotoshi made,
itsumo, zutto zutto, aishiteru.
boku wa ima sabishi kute kanashii.
Ashita kara, 2 shu anata ni aimasen.
doshite? nan ze?
kimi o doko e iku?
oshiete kudasai.

Ashita kara, mai nichi, mai nichi
kimi ni aitai. demo aimasen!
yaku soko o wasurenai.
tsurai
muzukashii
kanashii
itai
kurushindeiru
wakatteiru
wakatteiru
demo nani mo shiteru.
o-shiete kudasai.

ja-mata,
watashi no koizora,
watashi no koibito,
watashi no airen,
tasan koukai.
sayonara.

take care for the 2 weeks.
cherish the times.
don't waste it.
i love you, bubu.

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漆 @ 11:55 PM

Sunday, March 09, 2008
She looked more like a wicked witch than a warrior. =X

Her little tiny friend.
She's Alway A Beauty In My Eyes.

Catch up with my childhood.


Her dream car? She had never played this before! No childhood! =X


Supposed to go to zoo. Neko came to my house for morning call which is almost 12pm.Went to eat with my parents. After which watched Step up 2 preview. Woot. So nice. Dancing & music made my heart beat faster

Had such enjoyable day. First time went to toy shop with Neko at Suntec City
My childhood seem to surface again. =X
Childish me, dragged her in, to play all the toys.

Hahas. She looked so lost & cute in the place.Guess she could not believe I still so childish. Hahas.Ate a lousy dinner. Korean food. Yuck. No space, quite expensive, not nice, I should say.Neko saw a nice nice shoe. She loved it. Should I buy for her as 10mth present? Hahas.

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漆 @ 11:55 PM

Monday, March 03, 2008








Clement's Birthday. Nice Transformer's Collection Isn't?
Nice cake too! Totally cool. Awesome. UNBELIEVABLE.
Hahas. Leslie sat alone BBQ for us. Envy his patience! =X
Neko & Fangting helped out. Nice gathering I should say.

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漆 @ 4:00 AM

Sunday, March 02, 2008





Oishii desu ka? Yum Yum. But I'm sick of tired of this food =X
I have Japanese food each week. Neko loves it. So I accompanied her to eat.
Watched Water Horse. Not bad for a movie that's cute/lovely/touching.

My mum ordered buffet. Surprised with the no. of relatives turned up.
First time in my life, saw so many relatives from my Dad's side in my house.
Neko & Dominic were invited. Nothing much to chat with the adults since I am
the youngest at my father side.

Played cards with me Bro's gf, Neko & Dominic.
Got warning from my brother. Said I should not gamble. -.-!""
Give mi a break. I never communicate well with him. Forget it.

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漆 @ 11:00 PM

Thursday, February 28, 2008
Holiday now. Taikustsu ne. So boring.

Just bought my handphone. The same handphone as Neko now. =))

Cause a bomb. $800+++ But I signed a new contract! So is cheaper.

Notice

Teaching Japanese now. Will teach basic Japanese, including, Hiragana, Katakana & Kanji.
Will teach you writing, speaking and conversational skills. Will be given notes, homework & exams (if you request for the exams). Market price for private tuition is $50-70/hr. I will be charging roughly $20-$30 for 1hour30mins, depending on the level you are taking. Money will be paid in a package of 9hours. Speed of learning and time taken will be depending on yourself. If interested, please call 81572210, Takeshi.

I need extra money to save. Neko & Me need to save quite a lot I guess. Expenditures are going up. Just had a new handphone. New memories for me & Neko. So will be working hard to earn more money. Excited to try out all function of my handphone. Nice camera function! =))
1 mth of holiday! Bored to death. Next week, I will have my Japanese exam again! =(( Ganbaru yo, Takeshi! PLEASE CALL ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED TO LEARN!

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漆 @ 10:55 PM

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Samsung G800:

Camera Resolution: 5 Megapixels

Video :Video recording

Music & Sound: Music Player
Fun & Entertainment: FM Radio

Business & Office: Document Viewer

Mobile Printing

Messaging
Email

Connectivity: Bluetooth

User Memory
150MB

External Memory

This is what I want to get after exams. Neko is buying this phone too. =))
This phone is almost same value as IPhone. Nice camera features & etc.
Dying to get it. Saved money for it. =))

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漆 @ 9:00 PM

CNY ~ Every single day went out with Neko. Met her relatives. All very friendly & kind. Watched all the movies in the cinema list. Neko went out with my parents.

Valentine ~ I had not gave Neko any gifts. Yet to complete! =X She made strawberry coated with white chocolates & sweet candy! Look at the picture! =)) Is damn nice. Watched Jumper with her! Went to eat Frog Leg Congee at Geylang.

16/02/2007 ~ Went to Vaniez's birthday. Nice chalet, big rooms & so on. Played whole nitex. 2nd time play Mahjong. Lost a lot. Nahx, Neko never Ke Wo. Just that I suay, and noob. Lost so much money. I love her. =)) Meet the same old gang of friends of Neko's. Lolx. All still very fun to be with. Hopefully 1 day, I can click well with them, since I am the youngest. =.=!" 18 is the youngest! Haix.

19~22/02/2007 ~ Exams! Since 15/02/2007, I had not sleep at nitex. I study throughout the nitex. Everyday sleep in the morning at 6am~7am. For what? For the sake of passing & doing well. Left 2 more papers. Stats, my greatest enemy, coming to whack me! Marketing, almost finished everything.

1 advise ~ Don't late for exams. I was late, caused my mental block during Economic. Luckily, I can fare well. =X

Programmes lined up after exams? Not sure. Empty schdules. I just wish to do something relaxing. Massage, Spa, everything nice. Best is go on holiday.

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漆 @ 8:50 PM

Tuesday, February 19, 2008








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漆 @ 9:35 PM

Monday, February 04, 2008
Many things to update update update!

Saturday

Met Neko at Komachi Hair Salon. She booked appointment with Maeda-San? Surprised me. She went to highlight her hair. Kenny, my buddy entertained her. Thank brother! =))
Again, Maeda-San gave her discount. 20% & so on. From Almost $200 reduced till $120.
Lolx. Honor to be the VIP of that salon? =pP Soft pink hair of mine, will take long long time to drop! Aww...

Ate at Sushi Tei. Ordered all fav. food of Neko. Spent quite a lot. After that, went shopping for Fang Ting's birthday present. Had little disputes over present. Quite stupid though. But it pulled both of us sweeter together! =X Rushed down to Bishan for my reunion dine. Asked Neko to wait for me at Bishan while I went to eat. She's gonna shop for present too.
In the end, I got scolded. Reason: I did not ask her go eat reunion. My auntie expected me to bring her over! Freaking hell! Then I still leave Neko at Bishan! Awww.... I da pao the food for Neko. She almost cried, cos she's too bored & couldn't find the present! In the end, found nice nice present. Took cab down to Aloha for Fang Ting's chalet.

Nothing much at chalet. Played cards & games. Met a few same old big brothers & sisters. Hahas. Since I am 18 there, counted the youngest! Aww... Enjoyed the time with them.
Neko went play mahjong, threw me alone to interact with them. Lolx. Won $0.20 after few hours of games. Stupid wins.

Went home with Neko. We bought Mac-Prosperity back to eat. Watched Rat-ke-too-ee, or wad ever you call it. I dunno how to spell, FRENCH. Then went to slp tgt. So freaking tired after long day lahx. Snored our way into dreams. Planned to eat cockles tgt, but slp till 9pm+.
I love you Neko.

Monday

Neko is on leave for the freaking 1 whole week! Finally!?! After a year, she could come to school to find me! =)) So exicted today. She took cab down to get her nails done by Jia Yi, Xiao Mei. Domou arigatou! Xie Xie Ni! Nice pinky nails & white flowers!
Neko wore quite sweet clothes today bahx. Actually going Kbox with Regina they all & my brother, Dom. But, Neko sore throat! Went to Sweeney Todd, M18 show. Not a bad show after all. Went shopping with Neko at Bugis. Bought FreshBox Jean. Neko paid $50 for me! Bubu wang sui! You're the best! =)) She got bonus paid, so decided to reward me for being a good boy? Hahas.


Ate soup thingy with her at Bugis there. Not nice at all! Wasted my money! Kns! Had a long long day with her! So sweet though! I love her! Enjoy shopping with her. Had little disputes over bag. So stupid yet so loving agreuments. I love to carry her bag, but she want carry herself this time round. Hahas. Dunno lahx. She's cute. I had promised her that I'll be patient with her & I did it today! I did not quarrel but instead tell her nicely! Felt so successful.

Photos will upload soon!

Before I end her, I got a new scarf. That's like 1 week ago! Neko bought the cloth with me & she saw it for me! So loving & sweet ritex? Love the scarf. That's my christmas present! Aww... Muackiex, Bubu. You're the best! Photo of it will upload!

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漆 @ 11:55 PM

Can you guys just leave me ALONE

Do things for me

At next moment start pissing me

Stop nagging at me

Stop telling that she love me

Just tell her to stop arrowing me

If not I find her irritating & annoying

Then I will love her more

I am 18 in a few mths

Accept me for who I am

Don't change me

I will change myself

Just fucking give me time

Stop pestering me EVERYDAY

She leave me alone

I will love her more

-Parents-
-MOTHERS-

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漆 @ 11:45 PM

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Thank You BuBu!!!


extremely much


very much touched n appreciate for your loving actions




Sorry bu, keypad still hv problem. could not type long.

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漆 @ 8:03 AM

Friday, February 01, 2008
Happy 9 Month Neko

9 months had past since we got together. After a hard chase of 3 months, I had finally win your heart. First few months were fights. I managed to help you sort out your thoughts. I managed to help you think more maturely. Lives aren't easy for you & me. Parents are pain in the ass sometimes. (Agree? Those who are reading) Finally, I got caught at your house watching movie by your mum. It all started from there. I managed to place myself in your house. Remember the promised I made for you? Remember those happy moments with you at your house downstairs where I could not go your house?
Many things changed since I got into your house. We watched less stars, less chit chat at your house downstairs & etc. I had not forgotten those memories we once held on to. Soon enough, we will be doing it again. I promise you. Finally, you willing to give your heart after being together for 5mths. But I got myself tangled again. Broke down into sickness, depression & etc. I stood up on my own again with your loves & cares. I don't wish to see you tear or get heart. It scars my heart. During Dec-Jan, I struggled with many things. You never give up on me. Instead, I gave us up, I gave myself up. I let you worry, I let you cry, I let you pull me back. Actually, I'm just in the state of confusion about myself.
What kind of guy am I? Why did I change so much. I just realised, is not I changed. Is my environment that changed, causing me to change too. I really want to thank you for waking me up. Your tight slap did work after sometimes. I swore before that I will not let any woman to slap me in my life after the last slaps by my ex. Guess, I will allow you to slap only? I woke up. I know is time to change. Is time to change myself. That's why I wrote the resolutions.
Frankly speaking, since the day we started, I viewed our photos & our msgs every night before sleep. It's been an implanted habit of mine. If I never do so, I can't get to sleep. Rest assured, my habit of not deleting msg is still there. I had never delete a single of your msgs. I had tons of them stored in my hp. Every reciepts of the places & every movie tickets, I had stored them in my small box.
Hopefully through these few weeks, you can start to see the change in me. Don't worry. I will never be immature. Instead, I am still mature than you in thinking worx! Don't think I am just a 18 year old small boy k! Hahas...

Preparation for My 9 Month Anniversary

I went to school today. Got insulted, "Fake Japanese". Fuck man. This is Singapore! You can't expect me to speak Japanese in class right! Damn you old bitch POM teacher. Went around the whole freaking school to find a computer to use. I finally settled down at E-plaza after 20-30mins of search. Typed my reflections on Neko & my relationship for her. I wrote all my single feelings inside. Sent email to my Japanese best friend, Asumi. Met Dom in school to print my notes. 24 set of notes screwed the computer at the printing shop. We took cover & ran off. =X
Went Bugis, Fish & Co. Dom acted as Neko to pei me eat. Neko had office dinner tonight. Ordered our food & a freaking large jug of Rambutan & Pineapple freeze! Crapp away our time. Went shopping at Bugis street. Went to Mei Zhen Xiang to buy ba gua & visit the people there. It's been a year. It's the place where I knew Neko & started dating her.
We both chiong down to Eunos. Chose the roses, paid & rushed to Neko's office. At first thought of walking in but is raining. We took cab into the industry. Dom waited outside for me. I went solo into her office. Neko was totally shocked! Her eyes like popping out. I handled the roses to her! She can't respond at all. Then her colleague came out & shouted, " WAH so romantic. Never non of my business. I go eat ba gua! " Laughed as he walked off. The commotions started. All rushed out to see & started making noises. Then out come HER BOSS !!! Shocked by his presence, he gave a handshake. So firm & strong. =XX Of course, I held his hands tight! Hahas. Gave her a big hug & kisses. Asked her to read the email I sent to her.
It was so wonderful for the day. Imagine your loved one saw how sincere you are in treating her & how sweet you treated her, she will be touched. I love such feelings. I love to see Neko smiled & got stunned. All my surprises seemed to stun her each time! I love such feelings.
I felt so successful today. Packed my whole room. Now I can keep my nagging mum far apart! She won't nag me for a few days I guess? Hahas. That's so wonderful. Dug out many things, saw many of my past that flashed through in my minds when I flipped many things out. Never mind, just hope she changed. Been a year, but she never changed. Btw, Melodie, I had packed all your sec4 txtbk & wkbk in a big box! Rmb to collect from me!
Neko bubu, thank for such memories that you gave me in these few months. We will change together yeah? More things to come, we face it hand in hand. Don't let go of me, will you? Hope you love the roses! Brighter future for us. Don't worry about present. Just aim for future, things will be more cheerful. I LOVE YOU. AISHITERU. Muackiex. Huggies. Enjoy the sweet sweet moment!

Labels:


漆 @ 11:05 PM

strawberry.jpg (JPEG Image, 640x973 pixels) - Scaled (56%)

漆 @ 8:37 AM

Friday, January 25, 2008
Photos with Jie mei men.

Sweet old time with her.

My smile is so fake. But she love it. Hahas.

She is all I want.


Nice log cake?

Our Christmas Present Exchanges!

I miss the times with them.

My classmates.

Fairy wheel in Progress. Taken by Neko-Chan

Singapore's own fairy wheel.

She is all I need.


I had never regret being with her.

My only love and my only girl.


She's the Neko-Chan. x))

Aww... Her again...

Our Dog. That cute little plushie Neko-Chan love.



Hi all. Long time since I blogged. Many more photos to upload. Many things happened during these few weeks! List them one by one for ya to see.


1) Macro Project over.
2) Excel Project over.
3) Score A (34.5/40) for Macro ICA 2.
4) Score 30/50 for Accounts ICA 2.
5) Failed POM Project.
6) Lost my MP3.
7) Hp sent to repair.
8) Just celebrated Crab's birthday on 19/1/2007.
9) Just celebrated Xiao Mei ( Jia Yi ) birthday on 23/1/200.
10) Just celebrated Shu Shu birthday on 23/1/2007.
11) Just celebrated Matsuoka sensei's birthday on 21/1/2007
12) Bought rose for Neko on 22/1/2007.


Guess what.. I changed my hair colour!
That old yellowish hair made my hair so dry and dirty.
Don't really like.
CNY coming, time to change new image!
Maeda San designed my hair again.
Changed into Ash Pink.
30% Pink. 70% Ash. Shocked?
Is not that pink that you think.
Takeshi aren't a gay!
Spent $112 on my hair.
My mother say I look guai!
Definitely since my hair is dark brown, soon in 2 weeks, her eyes will pop out! =XX
My fringe just too short due to mis-communication with Maeda San.


New year clothes heaven buy.
Broke. Need sponsor Neko money for her clothes.
Don't mind. As long she is happy.
Neko, guess what?
My money is yours.
Your money not mine.
I learnt new thing this week.
Wanting a person to be happy, it don't matter when you give roses.
Any time, Any where, as long you want her be happy, is worth it.

Neko and me growing stronger each day though.
No quarrels so far.
All happiness and sweetness.
That's what I enjoyed.
Guess this year will be a great year ahead.
I start to feel CNY atmosphere!
Is my blog song nice?
Must have shocked the hell out of my reader.
Come on guys, CNY coming! Time to take ang baos!
After all, money is what I go for since I am so BROKE!?!

Updates of Japanese:
Last 1 lesson before exams.
Stressed though.
Speed is what I asked for.
11hrs is all I have.
But alright...
After I am Takeshi.
Sure can MAKE IT.

Realised Neko and me watched 40+ movies since we together.
Borrowed more than 10+ dvds.
We had sure contributed to Cinema Industry!
Time to demand for VIP card. =X
OH YA.
Neko if you happen to see this post,
The thai express card is I PAID!
Is under my name!
Don't Confiscate it!
Beg you! =X

Plans ahead:

Time to decorate my house.
Will ask Neko to design my house!
Time to clear old stuffs. Old will be gone, New will come.
I definitely won't throw Neko away. Lolx.
Time to save for mp3 and new hp.
Time to start preparing for end of sem exams.
Time to study for Japanese exam.
A few mths bust of energy to aim for JLPT 3 this year.
Time to eat more to be FAT.
Time to contact old friends that are lost.
Namely: Benjamin, Chun wei, Rebby, Chermain, Cai Yun, Rebby, Dominic and etc.
Time to continue with my changing of attitude!
Neko, I will definitely change.
Matte yo! Wait for me! =))

Plans with Neko:

Zoo with Neko.
Bird Park with Neko.
Sentosa with Neko.
Stars watching with Neko.
Moon watching with Neko.
Romantic Dinner with Neko.
Family dinner with Neko.
Change new hp with Neko.
Buy new watch with Neko.
Put more money in bank with Neko.
Romantic date with Neko.
Outing with Jiayi and Jorge!
Get Neko's nails done!

News:

Chermain, congrats! Omedettou! You did well in O's.
Rebby, don't sick anymore! Anything call me. I chiong down.
Dominic, shiken no benkyou ganbatte kudasai. JiaYou! Last 2 paper.
Neko, aww... You have too much things to announce.
1) Time to buy new fish tank.
2) Time to change yourself.
3) Buy new clothes.
4) Time to clear your house!
Regina aka my aiai, aww... Time to catch up sweet days with you! Hahas.
Liyi and Tracy, time to catch up with you gals too.

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漆 @ 2:45 AM

Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Is time to settle all things.
Is time to organise all things.
Is time to prepare all things.
Is time to change all things.
Is time to plan all things.
Is time to manage all things.

Is time for Takeshi to change.
Over the past 1 year, I did not get better. Instead, I got worst.
worst in study.
worst in r/s.
worst in jap.
worst in attitude.
worst in characters.
worst in style.
worst in everything I had done for the past 1 year.

3 more hrs for Japanese Major Exam.
A few more hours for my POA Exam.
2 days to Excel Exam.
A mth to Major Exam.

Time is running out. Is time to change before is too late.

Before my friends leave me.
Before my girlfriend leaves me.
Before my study drags me.
Before my family give up on me.
Before my inner soul abandon me.
Before everything I once owned, leaves me.

My passion for stuffs burns out.
My passion for study dies out.
My passion for making friends chill out.
My passion for everything just gone in a mist.

Japanese. Japanese. I once good in it.
Japan. Japan. My hometown, I once lived in it.
Why am I like a duck speaking in Japanese?
Why am I like a retard in studying Japanese?
Why? Nan De? Doshite? Naze?
Where is the old me who speaks Japanese fluently?
Where is the old me who writes Japanese like my mother tongue?

Why is my r/s with my girlfriend in a mess?
Why is there no flame burning in me?
Why is there no passion for love?
Why is there no hunger for care?
Why is there no thrist for her?
I gonna change this. All this will start all over again.
Wait for me, MS. All this will definitely burns again!

Why is my r/s with friends in a mess?
Why do I love to be alone?
Why do I love to stay in a corner?
Why am I speaking less to them?
Why am I outing less with them?
Sorry friends. Is time to catch up with you. The same old days.

Why am I addict to pool?
The passion for pool burns my inner.
The love for pool drown me in the river.
The miss for pool drives me crazy.
Hearing the balls, slowly rolls in the hole,
hits the deepest corner of my soul,
unleash the demon in me.
Craving for more & more.

1 hand in pool?
2 hands in pool?
Which is better?
I prefer 1 hand.
So what's the use of another hand?
Is to catch the attention of others.
To become stronger & fiercely in my attacking of balls.

The stars, the moon & the night I once loved.
Seem to disappear in tiny air.
I no longer watched the stars, the moon & enjoy the breeze of night.
I missed the old me. MS, is time to enjoy it with you.

Study is in a pile of shits.
I no longer love to study.
The old me who love challenges from studying is dead.
The old me who never give up is hiding up.
Is time to find back the old me. Is time to pick my pace.
Once a sportman, the mental of "Never give up" crave in my mind.
But guess I had not touched sports for years.
The words seem to be covered up by fun, laughters, enjoyments.

Oh well. Writing so much. How many will read?
How many will concern?
How many will respond?
Only the true ppl stays on & persist in reading.
To you is nothing, but to me, this post is my everything.
Is a declaration of everything that I once owned,
Is time to let go the funs & enjoyments.
Time to get serious and mature.

Neko-Chan is 21 soon. I am getting 18 soon.
The maturity gonna widen and lengthen.
This will definitely hurt our r/s.
In order to solve, I gonna be more mature than her.
I gonna think for future. I gonna plan for her like what I once did.
Is time to move on with her. No more distractions.

21... 18... 3 yrs of diff. The level of thinking is getting deeper.
She thinks about her job, her future, her financial & her characters.
I thinks about my Jap, my pool, my food, my fun & others.
See the diff? Is not easy for me. She is stepping into the real society.
I am still being a baby in a Poly. I thinks nothing about future or sort of.

Is time to change. Glad that I found back some long lost friends.
Rebby, Melodie, Chermain, etc...
Is time to stay by their side.

Time to plan for future. Is time to save money.
A hole in my bank. Is time to fill it up with my first pot of Gold.
The gold that will make mi richer each day.
Currently I can strike out the word, "BANKRUPT"
Because I'm getting richer now.
Debts are cleared.

No more cry baby. No point crying over spill milk.
A unlucky 2007, a better 2008, I hoped.
Say yo guys, anticipate the new Takeshi.
Pardon me if I speak to you in Jap again.
Pardon me if I get too friendly.
Pardon me if you don't get used to me.
So long guys, the old me is dead.
Time to change for a new me.
Definitely change this time.

If not, my girlfriend might leave me.
Parents give up on me.
Friends leave me.
Study will be over for me.
Ganbatte yo, Takeshi.
Ms, isshoni ganbatte yo.
Anata wa watashi no aoi tenshiyo.

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漆 @ 2:22 AM

Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Minasan! Konbanwa! It's been a long time since I blogged? Clearing my spider webby now! x))
Life's been ups & downs? Many people came & leave my life. Some by-passed my life. Some stayed on. Some left me for a break, some left me for good. Demo I'm still who I am.

Most happy thing happened during my "Break" is my Japanese. Guess what? Takeshi is taking private Japanese Lesson. Demo totemo takaii! But it is very expensive! 11 hours = $500. Matsuoka sensei said: " Takeshi, You need at least 12 hrs for your standard!" Aww... Means I need pay $1k for my Japanese Lesson. But guess what? 12 hrs = 1 level! So i applying 22 hrs which is $1k! Woot... That's my big Christmas presents!

Countdown? Hmm. Went shopping early in morning. Watched Redline. Nice movie! I won't forget this day. Bought tons of gifts. Spent more than $250! Bought:

1) Diamond Necklace for Neko-Chan
2) Silver Bracelet for Rebby
3) Big plushie for Melodie
4) Big plushie for Chalet
5) Chocolates for Crystal

Others will slowly come in. Reasons for choosing:

1) Wanted to give the best present ever for Neko-Chan.
2) Wanted to give the best memories for Rebby.
3) Wanted to give the best huggies for Melodie.
4) Wanted to give the best present for Chalet.
5) Wanted to give the best chocolates for Crystal.

Maybe that's my reason? I actually wanted to buy a diamond necklace for mum? But I don't think she worth such expensive thing? Bought for Neko-Chan due to my promise. I promised to give the best memories ever for her. That's my promise & I held on tight to it.



TAKESHI DECLARE BANKRUPT !

Stayed over at Neko-Chan's house with her friend. 1st time can officially stayed over. Played Mahjong, watched tv, played cards. Nothing much. Chatted with her friends. Gomanasai Neko-Chan. I made you upset even on countdown due to somethings. =XX Slept with her due to not enough beds. Soundly she went to sleep. But I did not. Wanted to observe the ways she sleep. She had many bad habits when sleeping. =XX

DEAR LORD, it's your day yesterday! 2000 years ago, you send Christ down to save us. Due to this, I stayed as who I am today. Glory be to God. Merry Christmas, God. I love you. Amen.

For God

Did not send his only Son

into the world to condemn the world

but to save the world through him

John3:17


Neko-Chan was saved yesterday. Glory be to God. During prayer, I felt my 6th sense telling me, Neko-Chan would take the very first step into accepting Christ by raising her tiny hand into the mid air when the Pastor asked who wished to accept Christ. I decided not to believe it. At the moment, Neko-Chan raised her hand! OMG!?! Tears just flowed out of eyes. I was taken aback. I chose not to believe my 6th sense but it just came true! Praise the Lord. After months, she was being saved! I return my prayer of thanks & joys to God.

Neko-Chan:
Who ever is in Christ
He is a new creation
The old has gone
The new has come.

Hope you will grow as new Christian strong in faith & prayer. I promised you that I will grow with you as one k? Remember to do New Life Kit everyday. Don't be like me who spent 1 yr 6mths to complete it!

Went to eat Thai Express at Paragon. 1st time in Paragon not to use TOILET but to EAT! =)) Sure broke some records yeah? Aft lunch, I presented my present. Guessed, opened, shocked, smile, happy & nothing else! AWWW... where's the tears that she promised to drop when I buy her diamonds! Bluff me! Hahas... I hope you love the present Neko-Chan. I gave you the treasure of mine. My whole wealth was bet on this necklace. =XX Not big of a diamonds, but big in my heart.

Shopped around, off we went to Chalet. Surprised & shocked that the girls of next class invited me for Chalet. Same old group, but same old friendship! Missed them for this sem due to my timetable. But NVM! =)) Sat bus because both of us were tired. I guessed this was the long journey we both slept in bus. Hugged her due to the freezing cold that bit into her hands. Snore..zzz..

Took another bus from Bedok to Pasir Ris. Slept again.. Party was not bad? Regina won the best well-dressed. Teased her & Qiu Yin ( If I never spell wrongly ) I got a dress in exchange for my Plushie during lucky draw. It was from Jia Ying. Gave to Neko. I had extra plushie due to Dominic. He did not go for party! I gave it to Neko-Chan. We RaPeD the TURKEY! Rachel was tearing the meat from the poor TURKEY! Lolx.

Neko-Chan recieved:

1) Japanese Perm $144 which she paid. Actual price was $485. I knew the boss so gave discount.
2) Hand manicure. ( Jia Yi xiao mei. Remember to help do k? )
3) Diamond Necklace ( From Citigems which cost me a bomb! )
4) A dress ( Recieved during gifts exchange at party )
5) A plushie ( Acutal owner was Dominic )

I recieved... A BIBLE. =XX A daily read bible from her. Others were belated presents I guessed.

Though you were away from me, but I missed you. There's a void that needed you to fill back. Thinking of you every moment. Thinking about the past that we shared. Thinking about the things we had done. Tears started to flow. Sorrow sank in. It's going to be a brand NEW YEAR soon. Hoping a brighter days ahead of us. I Love You. XoXo.

Thank Rebby! I love your cup! I will drink everyday! =)) Your Christmas Card! I won't forget yeah! Hahas. BaoBei Neko-Chan hope you loved your gifts & the days we spent. Working days are coming. Enjoy your work o..! Don't cover yourself under blanket yeah? Don't scare of the dark! Muackiex. I love you..

More things to come ahead of us. Good days, bad days, etc... We will cross no matter what. Put your faith & trust back to me! Alright? =))

Watashi wa anata to zutto isshoni itai desu!

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漆 @ 11:55 PM

Friday, December 14, 2007
Takeshi teaching Japanese today. Basic Japanese for Daily Life! =)) Learn well! Free of charge here! Hahas... Just practicing for some stupid exams! Hai, Ikimashou!

ENGLISH - I eat bread.

JAPANESE - Watashi wa pan-0 tabemasu

In English, (Subject) + (Verb) + (Object). In Japanese, (Subject) + (Object) + (Verb).


DESU

Desu is a grammatical form that can act like to be (You know - is, are, am...) in English in the sense of explaining who or what something / one is or equating one thing with another. Let's take a look:



わたし　は　クレイ　です。

Watashi wa kurei desu.

I am Clay.

これ　は ねこ です。

Kore wa neko desu.

This is a cat.


2 Basic verb forms ～dictionary、～ます

たべるtaberu ----- たべますtabemasu ----- Both mean "to eat"

のむnomu ----- のみますnomimasu ----- To drink

はしるhashiru ----- はしりますhashirimasu ----- To run

するsuru ----- しますshimasu ----- To do

Making questions か

Making questions in Japanese is easy! Usually you can change a statement into a question by just adding a か ka to the end!

Examples:

あなた　は　アメリカ人　です。

Anata wa amerikajin desu.

You are an American.

あなた　は　アメリカ人　です　か。

Anata wa amerikajin desu ka.

Are you an American?


Question words

By mastering these question words, your conversational skills will be much stronger

* いつ itsu - when
いつ　きました　か？
Itsu kimashita ka?
When did you come? [lit. when came?]

* どこ doko - where
どこ　から　きました　か？
Doko kara kimashita ka?
Where did you come from? [lit. where from came?]

* どうして doushite - why
どうして　きました　か？
Doushite kimashita ka?
Why did you come? [lit. why came?]

* なぜ naze- why
なぜ？
Naze? Why? [used in the same way as doushite]

* だれ dare - who
だれが　きました　か？
Dare ga kimashita ka?
Who came?


Possessive "'s" の

This is another nice part about Japanese. To show relationship or possession between 2 things just put a の no inbetween them. The trick is knowing which goes to the left of the no and which goes to the right...

Think of it as: の => 's

わたし の ねこ Watashi no neko - My cat [I's cat]

日本 の 車 Nihon no kuruma - Japanese car [Japan's car]

ねこ の おもちゃ Neko no omocha - Cat's toy


And と、そして

There are several ways to say "and" (connecting things). Let's look at 2 of them.

と to - connecting nouns

わたし　は　日本語　と　英語　と　フランス語　が　話せます。

Watashi wa nihongo to eigo to furansugo ga hanasemasu.

I can speak Japanese and English and French.


そして Soshite - connecting phrases

わたし　は　日本語　が　はなせます。　そして、ドイツ語　が　読めます。

Watashi wa nihongo ga hanasemasu. soshite, doitsugo ga yomemasu..

I can speak Japanese and I can read German.




But でも

But, a small word, but... There are other "buts" but demo is the most common. Learn this first and you can pick the others up later.

でも Demo - But

日本語　が　好き　でも、　フランス語　は　きらい　です。

Nihongo ga suki demo, furansugo wa kirai desu.

I like Japanese, but I hate French.


Pronouns

Pronouns are not used nearly as much in Japanese as they are in English. Often the pronoun is used once and then after (until the topic shifts to someone else) the pronoun is dropped. Still they are very important!

I - わたし Watashi

WE - わたしたち Watashi tachi

YOU - あなた Anata

YOU - あなたたち Anata tachi

HE - かれ Kare

SHE - かのじょ Kanojo

THEY - かれら Kare ra

Notes: Another meaning of kare (he) is actually "boyfriend" and kanojo is "girlfriend"!



Fillers - ええと

In English, we have our "um." in Japanese, they have their "eeto." This is the sound you make when you can't think of what to say, but want to say something!

何 の　動物 が　好き　です　か？
Nan no doubutsu ga suki desu ka?
What animal do you like?

ええと。。。　ねこ　が　すき。
Eeto... neko ga suki.
Um... I like cats.



Particles intro

In Japanese, grammatical parts of the sentence are shown very clearly by "particles." These particles are placed after the word (or phrase) they modify. The best way to learn to use them is to memorize useful examples and say them!

は wa - overall topic particle - shows the main topic of the conversation

[NOTE: it is a hiragana ha but pronounced as "wa"]

あなた　は　やさしい。
Anata wa yasashii.
You are nice.
[Makes *you* the main topic]


が ga - the subject particle - sometimes the difference between wa and

ga are hard to tell. Sometimes they can be used interchangeably with only a slight change in

meaning. Don't worry about this now!

ねこ　が　へん。
Neko ga hen.
The cat is strange.
[Makes the *cat* the subject]


を o - The Direct Object Particle

本　を　よみました。
Hon o yomimashita.
(I) read a book.
[NOTE: it makes *book* the object. If we were to say *I* it would be watashi wa at the beginning.]


に ni - usually shows movement (to)

日本　に　いきましょう！
Nihon ni ikimashou!
Let's go to Japan!
[There is movement going to Japan]

or shows time (at)

６時　に　いきましょう！
Roku ji ni ikimashou!
Let's go at 6.

で de - Shows location (at, in)

日本　で　遊びましょう！
Nihon de asobimashou!
Let's play (have fun) in Japan!
[Notice there is no movement]

Labels:


漆 @ 9:40 PM

Japanese Poem:

いろはにほへと (いろ は におえど)
I ro ha ni ho he to (Iro wa nioedo)
Even colours and sweet perfume

ちりぬるを (ちりぬる を)
chi ri nu ru wo (chirinuru wo)
Will eventually fade

わかよたれそ (わが よ たれ ぞ)
wa ka yo ta re so (waga yo tare zo)
Even our world

つねならむ (つね ならん)
tsu ne na ra mu (tsune naran)
Is not eternal

うゐのおくやま (うい の おくやま)
u wi no o ku ya ma (ui no okuyama)
The deep mountains of vanity

けふこえて (きょう こえて)
ke fu ko e te (kyou koete)
Cross them today

あさきゆめみし (あさき ゆめ みじ)
a sa ki yu me mi shi (asaki yume miji)
And superficial dreams

ゑひもせす (よい も せず)
we hi mo se su (yoi mo sezu)
Shall no longer delude you.

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漆 @ 8:00 PM

Thursday, December 06, 2007










A&E Tan Tock Seng ( 5 days left )

Bad news for people who cares about me. My report is out. 5 days MC. Under observation.. My left lung is leaking again! Leaking air now. I sealed it last year. But it's all coming back again. My lung will collapse soon? Tiny air leak since Jan, 2007. Now it is still leaking. Tue, 11/12/2007, I will see the consultant. God bless me. If this round I can't cross, operation is waiting for me.

Lungs had been in pain. Wounds had been in pain. Hard of breathing. Fast heartbeat. Everything is a mixture of torture & a step towards death. x((

Received somethings that touched me totally today. 100 cranes made of glossy paper. Cranes are known to wish & bless someone. Totally touched. 100 of them, made through countless of sleepless nights. Rushed home to take, skipped lesson, rushed back to give me. Thank for going through such painful & tiring efforts. I appreciated all! Thank you, Misaki. Domou arigtou gozaimasu. I wondered something. People who do not know me, will worry more for me. People who know me, will worry but won't care more. I myself do not know whether I can cross this a not.

Though I smiled, though I said, " Daijoubu ne. Genki desu! Shinpai jya nai. " But actually, I was feeling scare, worry & smell my death approaching. I don't wish to go for another operation. I don't seem to be as strong as I appear? Strong front? Maybe. Laughing my self away, enjoying myself, trying to be MYSELF.. 5 more days, before I face the real things. The most fearful thing for me in life. Can anyone understands?

I'm afraid the same process rewinded. Went through operation, forget all my friends, lost my memories, forget my loved ones.. Frankly speaking, I really will cherish these 5 days that will come forward. Maybe 1 day, I lay in hospital, little people will know where did I go to? I guess only people who is reading my post now, will know where I will go if I am missing. Hospital? Or off to see Jesus Christ?

Thank people who cares for me. Thank a lot. I won't forget you guys no matter what. I love the cranes. Thank again Misaki. That's touching & thoughtful of you, though I am just nobody that need you to go to such extent. Thank a lot!

Met my God-Brother today. Knew him through maple for 2 yrs +... finally saw him today. Went to Bedok for Kbox singing. Truly, he is a amazing guy. Funny, lame, everything nice to describe him. I enjoyed the moments with him. The singing & so on. He is really another person I won't regret knowing. Though he damm kao bei, but he is overall fine! =)) Sang a lot of loves songs, danced, screamed & did a lot of stupid things. All these will be kept in my memories. Thank for letting me to know you, Edwin Kor!

Neko-Chan: Thank for being with me all this while. I had not been a good boyfriend. Gomanasai! I will cherish the memories you gave me. I can't give you much more.. I regretted for not giving more & so on. Thank for being my girlfriend till now. =)) 5 more days yeah? Hope it's all turned fine. Frankly speaking, let you down a lot times in this 7 mths. You had not give up. I don't know what had pushed you on. But I believed you will stay strong without me? Take care if I'm meet with mishap! I love you.

Melodie: Sorry that I left you 2 yrs ago. Giving you hurts & so on. Now we patched again. I can't stay on with you longer? If I can, I will like to say, "Gomanasai!" Bon Voyage to Thailand on Monday! Take good care. I can't express much. but you know how I feel.

Crystal: Stay strong with your boyfriend. What's is past is past. Move on happily. Thank for staying afar & keep watch on my daily life! Thank for giving past memories too. Sadly, last yr you were there for me at the Hospital, guarding me outside the operation threate, but this yr, you won't? Take care if I can't move further on.

Dominic: Thank brother for being there no matter what! Though I joked with you, have fun with you, sometimes, I feel painful in lungs too. Just wish to say, I had never regret knowing you! Stay strong. Good luck in future.

Jiay Yi & Jorge: Thank for being here for me & concern for me all this while! Hope you two stay strong if I can't be with you guys. Don't fight or quarrel over small things. Take care. God bless you two.
HuiHuan: xie xie ni buddy! Thank for staying & listening to me! You had never complained about me for being so talkative & noisy. Thank. I trusted you & you really did made me trust you! Take care! God bless you.

Rebby: Though for 13 yrs, I had spent only about 2 yrs with ya. I should not have left you alone in life! Take care sister! You are my longest & most worthy friend of life! I love you sister!

Benjamin: Hey gay faggot. I wonder if you know about my condition a not. Since you never read my blog de! Whatever it is, I wanna say. Thank for being with me for this 10 yrs! You are my best gay partner & buddy! God bless you in future! Don't be sad over me & worry abt me k?

Misaki: Thank for appearing in my life. Making me happy, cheer me & be there for me. Thank a lot. =)) I don't know what to say, but really thank a lot!?! Please learn to be smarter & not be so sotong in life. You will get easily cheated by others. Don't go drinking anymore k? Take good care k!?!

There are many more I wanna thank! But not enough space! Thank all who loved me & missed me! I love you guys & yes... Pray for me YEAH!?! =)) Takeshi will alwae be with you.

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漆 @ 11:45 PM

Saturday, December 01, 2007
















































Konbanwa, minasan! It been a month plus since I blogged. Mia for a long long time...

Many things happened in this month..
Many people came into my life..
Many friends mix into my life..

Met a girl, Misaki (美咲)..
Many things came dragging in..
Many stress, unhappiness, happiness came mixing in..

Neko-Chan, gomanasai...
Brought tears, unhappiness, heartbroken..
Gomanasai..
Study is in a mess. Stressful. Nothing can change this fact.
Pool skills improved. Can play backhand, one-hand, jump balls, do tricks.
Thank to Dom, my brother.

Too many things happen, Takeshi really changed into Takeshit..
Mariko going back to Japan. Sadness came pouring in. Recorded her voice as Ring-Tone as memories. Mariko, kiotsu kete kudasai. Isshoni ganbatte yo. Anata wa inakute totemo samishii desu. Demo kono yoko soko o-wasuremasen. Tabun, kondo isshoni aimasu. Ii desu ka?

Sad to leave her. She's been a good sister to me. After Ryoko, Mariko's going off.. Takanori went back Japan 3 mths ago without giving notices. Next in list is Makoto. Going back to Japan to work.
Everyone is leaving here. I, myself changed into a Rebellious child. Left home recently, stayed with my brothers. Cold war with mum, not a single sentence spoken to her.
Had BBQ with my class & Neko like 3 weeks or 1 mth ago. Forgot.. Drowning myself in the world of materialistic. Abandoning God in a corner. Became more oppossive against teachers.

Dreaming in my own world. Listen to my songs, sinking in my dreams. Who is able to dig me out? Save me from sinking? Neko failed to. Misaki (美咲) failed to. Dom failed to. Kor failed to. Rebby failed to. Dare? Tasukeru?

Many songs had accompany me recently. Jay Chou- cai hong. Initial D- technos. BoA- everlasting.. Etc.. Memories came back.

Memories of Japan & Misaki (美咲) came back when I hear everlasting. Japan, the place I frequent. Now it seems like a dream. The days I spent there, the happiness I got, the friends I know... Minasan, genki desu ka? Misaki (美咲) love everlasting too. It's her fav. now.

I don't know how much I changed. I became quiet nowadays. Don't really talk alot. Only talk to those who are closed to me. I really can't be who I am. Or this is the true me? The real me? Alot people said I changed. My 6th sense told me so. But my mental contricted that. How? Recently depended on my 6th sense a lot. I can keep forseeing the future. But the energy level is getting lesser. Draining me away. Only people who are close to me, know what's with my 6th sense.

Addicted to Alcohol. Been drinking a lot recently. Doshite? Nan de? why? wakaranai. I don't know. After drinking, I can have good slp. Though I did not get drunk, but my heart is drunk. I don't know what my heart really wants. Addicted to Christmas decorations. Been taking lots of photos on Christmas stuffs. Thank guys for staying by my side. I noticed that, during these times, the time when I really lost myself, my directions, you guys are there to direct me again. I knew that, you guys are impt. to me. During this period, I guessed, I lost a lot friends too.

Friends are those when in time of needs, they will never complain at all. 1 of them is Dom. Really brother, I don't know how to thank you. Both of us are guys. Though, don't mushy, but the fact is, you really a great pal. Every calls that get you, you will come down to accompany me when you can. You had not complained at all for the troubles no matter how much I brought to you. You are the one & only that can really cheer me up & make mi laugh. Really, thank a lot bro. I will always rmb wad u did for me.

Rebby, thank for hearing all my rubbish & be there for me. When I drink, you are there to take gd care of me. You had not complain anything about me at all. Benjamin, thought we met less than 10 times a year, you had been a great pal for this 10 yrs! Thank a lot for being there for me.
Neko, I'm sorry for the hurts & tears that I brought to yeah. I shattered your heart so much, that nothing can mend it at all. But you still decided to stay on for me. I don't know what to say. It's all my fault. I changed so much that you, my beloved, could not recongise me at all. Gomanasai! Yurusu. Forgive me please. I don't mean to shatter all this into pieces. No words or anything can ever mend your heart. Though now, you are oversea, away from me, but.. your heart still with me. You buy things for me, hoping to see me changed back to normal again. I'm sorry. Truely. I let you down so much.

Misaki (美咲), you are another that I wished to say sorry to. I caused you to cry a river. I caused so much hurts & troubles for you. Now, your parents because of "him" & me, distrust you so much. Gomanasai. I had already tried to make it up all for you. It's all started because of a smile, friendliness, outgoing characters of mine. I know no one can have 2 hearts. No one wants to share. No one wants to let go. No one wants to shatter this dreams. No one wants this to happen too... Demo... it all just happened. Gomanasai. Nani mo hanashite imasu.

Jiayi xiao mei, Jorge, huihuan... Etc.. Thank for sharing a little of my burdens. The most embarrassed thing I wanna say is, Jiayi, though I can help you & Jorge. But the actual fact is, I can't help myself too. I, myself, is losing hold of myself. Don't be liked me. I wish to see you & Jorge be happy. That's why I tried to help that much. God bless you two.

As a Christian, I don't act like one. Melodie, I just contacted her. She's my ex. 1 of the few whom I cherished the most. Should be cherished the most. Lost contact with her for 2 yrs. She blocked me in msn, found a lot of boyfriends & now she is single again. Doshite? It was because of me. She could not find the feelings I gave her 2 yrs ago. She's been searching for it in other guys but invaild. I'm sorry. I did not know the feelings I gave you is so special.. Sorry, if you see this post, I wanna say, don't leave my side again. I will cherish you de.

Melodie, changed so much. Devoted christian as who she is now, taught me a lot things. Though, I'm Christian for a longer time, like 5 mths, than her, she knows more clearly about God than me. Very pathetic right?

Crystal, my last ex. Befriend with me again. I forgave all she had done. She is now with another guy. God bless them & wished that they are happy together. Miki (みき), my Japanese girlfriend, currently in Uni. God bless her & her sister Aya, who once had some memories with me. Time flies..

Next week, after POA, I decided to take an x-ray. Who knows what the results might be? Feeling unwell recently, lungs are in pain, I took the courage to go for check-ups. Who knows, my lungs collapse again? The wounds are hurting. God bless me. Though I know I not in position to ask God to bless me. Hopefully, nothing is going to happen to me again. Don't wish for another operations.

Thank for the memories at Esplande, Komachi, Vivo city, Swensen. It will be all held in my heart tightly. These were the best memories during this chaos period of my life. Domou Arigatou Gozaimasu! I sincerely thank for that. I will never forget.. Frankly speaking... Though I'm a guy, I admitted I did cry a few times... Even writing this post, I'm dropping tears. I hurted so many love ones..
Pwned Dom in pool 6-0. But in nxt game which is 3mins +, gt pwned back 7-0. Mum's birthday. Family photo which is still on my Dad's hp's wallpaper.. Etc..
Many photos uploaded here are what I took in this month. Btw, I topped in class for eff.writing. 31/40 if I not wrong. Neko-Chan, come back fast. Misaki (美咲), don't fight with parents. Dom jiayou in girls. =))
I hope everything goes well. Minasan, kiotsu kete kudasai. Ja-mata. Takeshi, Ganbatte yo!

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漆 @ 9:45 PM

Sunday, November 18, 2007


iPOD NANO FOR SALE 4GB
condition: brand new
colour: silver
warrenty:1year, upon online registertion with apple
selling off price: $210.00
retail price: $248.00

i got this ipod nano for free when i recently renew my internet subscription. in the long run, i dun see i will need to use it so decided to sell it off. INTERESTED! contact TAKESHI!


Size and weight


In the box

Capacity


Display

  • 2-inch (diagonal) liquid crystal display with blue-white LED backlight
  • 320-by-240-pixel resolution at 204 pixels per inch

Audio

  • Skip-free playback
  • Frequency response: 20Hz to 20,000Hz
  • Audio formats supported: AAC (16 to 320 Kbps), Protected AAC (from iTunes Store), MP3 (16 to 320 Kbps), MP3 VBR, Audible (formats 2, 3, and 4), Apple Lossless, AIFF, and WAV
  • User-configurable maximum volume limit

Video

  • H.264 video, up to 1.5 Mbps, 640 by 480 pixels, 30 frames per second, Low-Complexity version of the H.264 Baseline Profile with AAC-LC audio up to 160 Kbps, 48kHz, stereo audio in .m4v, .mp4, and .mov file formats; H.264 video, up to 2.5 Mbps, 640 by 480 pixels, 30 frames per second, Baseline Profile up to Level 3.0 with AAC-LC audio up to 160 Kbps, 48kHz, stereo audio in .m4v, .mp4, and .mov file formats; MPEG-4 video, up to 2.5 Mbps, 640 by 480 pixels, 30 frames per second, Simple Profile with AAC-LC audio up to 160 Kbps, 48kHz, stereo audio in .m4v, .mp4, and .mov file formats

Mac system requirements

  • Mac computer with USB 2.0 port
  • Mac OS X v10.4.8 or later
  • iTunes 7.4 or later5

Windows system requirements

  • PC with USB 2.0 port
  • Windows Vista or Windows XP Home or Professional with Service Pack 2 or later
  • iTunes 7.4 or later

Power and battery6

  • Built-in rechargeable lithium ion battery
  • Playback time
    • Music playback time: Up to 24 hours when fully charged
    • Video playback time: Up to 5 hours when fully charged

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漆 @ 5:37 AM

Friday, November 16, 2007

私はそれをすることができることを信じる! 全力を尽くしなさい!

検査のための全力を尽くしなさい。 私は精神的支持を永久に与える私の部分をする。 私は愛する!


laogong,veryhardtotypeo,mykeypadgivemesomuchtrouble!omg!
laogong,sorryaddingmorestresstoyourstress!laopounderstandsbetternow.
haha,wonderyourjapstandardcanunderstandtheaboveanot?


うまくいけばこの少しは驚きあなたの心配を取り除き、あなたが必要とする刺激を与えることができる!

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漆 @ 6:16 AM

Monday, October 22, 2007
CrAbS on TrEaT

Promised Neko-Chan to treat her to Crabs today. After school, reached home to rest. Played Dota & got ready to go & fetch Neko-Chan. Went down to my house there to buy Crabs. Chilli Crabs which cost me $15. Lolx... Quite cheap ritex? Is at Serangoon North Ave 1 here!?!
Took taxi down to Eunos to fetch Neko-Chan from work. Bought some more food at Bedok interchange. The Crabs were tiny tiny tiny... but the sauce was not too bad. It was quite tasty yeah? Hahas... Enjoyed the food though... Watched the BAI JIA LE, Mark Lee's design was not that good. But after all the judge let him win...

Helped Neko's mum to check stock market. Luckily her shares did not drop! Lolx... Neko's shares also never drop! Scary... The stock markets were dropping here & there... Great Depression is coming!?! Hahas... Helped Neko to massage her back. This seemed to be my routine at her house now. Massage, massage & massage. Hahas...

Heavy downpour came when I was flagging a taxi. KNS!?! The umbrella nearly blown off my grips... A sweet nitex to enjoy the cool air in the room! Minasan, oyasumi nasai. Amai Yume!

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漆 @ 11:50 PM

Sunday, October 21, 2007
First Time to Church

"Thank God for softening Neko-Chan's house. Thank for letting me to bring her to Church. Father, I pray that you will allow her to experience Christ in her life. Take away her sins & cleanse her. Anyone who is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old had gone, the new had come. Father, You taught me this in my first bible study. In you holy name, I pray that you can knock at her heart, open her heart & step into her heart. Live in her & allow her to lead a holy life in the way you want her to. Father you are the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. Bless her in your name. Thank you Father, in Jesus's name I prayed. Amen!"

Today, woke up very early. Marks a new beginning of Neko-Chan's life. Brought her to my church. I had always wanted her to go. Finally, today, the day where she made her first step. Lolx. Though we a bit late, missed a bit of the singing, but we managed to find 2 seats. Lolx...
The service was about faith in our armour that God gave us. =))

Our church is going to move to Yio Chu Kang there! Hahas... Renovating soon! Cool sia. This coming sunday, we could draw on our church walls... Write our prayer & so on! Cool horx.. Lolx.. I guessed Daryl, my church leader, was extremely happy to see me bahx! Hahas.. He's been persuading me to go back! Then Anna or who.. Dunno how to spell came to talk to Neko-Chan. Then Eva, they all came to talk to her. Hahas...

Same old days of church.. Everyone so enthu! Hahas.. Neko-Chan & me rushed to Dohby to buy movie ticket for "BROTHERS". Cool man. This shows rawks! It very touching about brotherhood. I wondered if my brother did that to me? Planned everything for me? Hahas.. I doubt so o o o o o... Hahas... This movie is a MUST WATCH movie. Andy Lau lyk nothing much in the show. Not much room for him to show his talents... Action packs, touching & comedy! Lolx... Rmb to grab seats at the Cinemas to watch k?

Pei Neko-Chan to go bookstore to buy her magazine on house designing. She's going to design her mum's friend house. Neko-Chan, that greedy pig, wanted to buy DONUTS from DONUTS FACTORY!?! Hahas... pei her go buy even though I'm broke. She happy, I will be happy too... Hahas... Bought Nasi Lemak at Bedok Interchange too...

Reached her house, ate, helped her to design her house. Gave her ideas & so on... Though I can't design. I could read design plans & drawings. =)) Talented right? Bo bian. I need to noe & understand what's Neko-Chan is doing in her job! Man, she was amazing with her skills. Maybe that attracted me. A girlfriend who is designer! PROUD OF HER!?! =))

But she kinda lazy when working. I still need to help her carry her laptop, set up the fan for her, helped her to change BIT BIT, the Rabbit.. Lolx... I love her deeply. I wanted to realise her burdens! =)) Muackiex Neko-Chan!

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漆 @ 11:45 PM

Saturday, October 20, 2007
Internet Wireless Setup

I was at Neko's house since morning. I accompanied her to the wet market to buy stuffs for dinner. Bought myself a big BAO to eat. I helped her to set up her wireless internet & the security. KNS... Her is Singnet while mine is Starhub. The setup was totally not the same. I had to figured it all out by myself. WTH..? Hahas...

After setting up, I started trying out the net. The speed was not bad. Loading was quite fast. Good thing was my Neko-Chan was a sweet girl. Cooked lunch for me yeah? Hahas... Luckily, she did not starve me to death. Watched "Xiao Qian" the old old chinese animated movie. Lolx. Brought back memories lehx... My VCD was lent to my cousin & never to return back again! Hahas...

Guess what? Crab-EK- Dropped by at Neko's house. Surprised right? Hahas... She going meet Clement from Army. So before that she dropped by. I sarcrificed oK!?! Lolx... because Neko-Chan had to entertain her. I understood & I entertained myself by surfing the net & playing dota! Lolx... They chatted so much, sang song, laughed together... Lolx... I never had such experience with friends? Because my parents don't really lyk ppl to come my house. But never mind. I can alawe go other ppl's house. Lolx... Guess what? I did something very sweet & wonderful. I poured water for both of them! But that dumb Neko-Chan said this, "ONLY PLAIN WATER ARHX!?!" KNS lorx... lyk tat say me. Nxt time let her thrist to death!

The exciting moment was here at nitex! Neko-Chan's going to cook for me! Wah laox... I did not noe she could cook so well & so much. Marry her, I won't scare I gt nth to eat! Hahas... She cooked Dumpling Noodle & Soup. Kao... She could even wrap the dumplings herself... I felt so useless... I could only help to EAT!?! Wahahahs... Nice boyfriend right? So good de... Girlfriend cook, I eat only! Lolx...

Her auntie came to her hse... Shocking sia... Now is meeting Relative?
She came in & asked this, "What's your name?"

"Takeshi!"

"HUH!?! WHAT shit?"

"Erm... Never mind, you can call me Jian Bin"

"Oh... That CHEN JIAN BIN ARHX!?! I noe.. I noe.."

KNS ritex..? Lolx.. She damm evil lorx! Lyk that say mi. WHAT SHIT!?! Biang... I go bang wall liaox..! Lolx.. Today was such an exciting day. Lolx.. So many things happen. Can you guys keep up with such happening experience of mine? Hahas...

TAKESHI LOVE NEKO-CHAN

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漆 @ 11:30 PM

Friday, October 19, 2007

To: Whoever u think u are... (Regina)

Please mind ur attitudes and words. It maybe just casual remarks but u duno how much it hurts. Saying once I may forget it but saying it too many times may hurt friendship. Sorry i may not be a perfect person with all good attitudes.

I'm short tempered i know but i wont be angry if u did not say or do things which pissed me off. I'm not angry now. I'm just trying to salvage our friendship, I think i should voice out my unhappiness so that you will know.

I dun wan a barrier between us, hope you understand. =)

Sorry if i did show u attitudes.

I hope you will read this post. Tell you that U'r still my BFF. =D

Dont win me in pool ok! Kns!

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漆 @ 11:55 PM

Monday, October 01, 2007
5 Months Anniversary!

5 mths since the day we started officially. Times fly fast. An eye blink, 5 mths had past. Things had come & go for these few mths. Many things happen. Sour, Sweet, Bitter & Spicy stuffs had all happened. I had yet to regret being together with Neko-Chan. Frankly speaking, she was not a perfect girl I'm looking for. To her, I'm not the perfect guy too. But we both strived for excellence. Diligence before success. Lolx. She changed since the day I met. From a Lioness to a little cute Neko-Chan. Lolx. Times can help a person to change. Though she is not perfect even till this moment, she considered the best in my heart!

Neko-Chan had to work today. I could not meet her to go out! Hahas. I gave her a surprised! I bought Roses for her! I told her to wait for me at Eunos. I rushed down, chose it & bought it. Met her at platform. Guess what?!? KA NA SAI!?! She already knew I going to buy Roses? When did she become so SMART!?! Hahas... Never Mind... I suggested to her that if she mind that I go her house to eat with her & her mum. Reluctantly, she called her mum to ask! Went to her house to eat Chicken Rice! Hahas... Her mum cooked de... Very Delicious...!~ Yum Yum!~

Hahas... Explained to her mum about the hair care products again! =)) Went home after dinner!~ Though it was a short meeting, I would never forget about today!~ After went home, her mum asked her if I very good at "HONG" her. Lolx. Sound like I cheating her sia!~ Ka na sai!?! Hahas...

I LOVE YOU NEKO-CHAN. I hope I become part of your family. I hope your mum accept me. I hope your mum will never oppose us! Muackiex. Huggies...

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漆 @ 11:55 PM

| 私 |
Namae (なまえ): Takeshi (たけし)

Tanjoubi (たんようび): 31/3/90

Oikutsu (おいくつ): 18 years old

Gakkou (がっこう): Nanyang Poly

Kurasu (クラス): Business Management 0725
Email (イ一メ一ル): konichiwa90@hotmail.com

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