Tired, tired, nothing but tiredness. It been long since I felt so. If you are tired please tell me. I will let you sleep. I not such an unreasonable person. You need rest too. But it seems that every nitex you are too tired to even listen nor talk. I been doing talking 8/10 calls. I'm tired to move or open my mouth. Numb! No feelings nor emotions. Life is so upside down. Imagine you do the talking but I tiredly listen? Forcing myself to listen to you. The talk will never be enjoyable nor meaningful.

Sometimes it seems like you are a punishment given to me by God. I always wish to go clubbing. My ex dont allow. Now I dont allow, but you wish to go. My ex always wants me to talk at nitex, but I dont. Now I want to talk but you dont. I always want to play Dota or watch tv, but my ex not happy that I spend so much thing on them. Now is you alway wish to watxh tv, and I not happy about it. I always want to eat the crabs' princer & my ex eat legs. Now you want to eat princer, I had to share. Last time I hate to accompany my ex home or go to her house, not I love to accompany you home or go your house. I hate to watch movie but you love to watch & now I am addicted to movie. Last time my ex dont allow me keep ex's contact no, but I Kept. Now is you keep, but I not very happy about it.

It all seems to be a weird vicious cycle. Your ex hate to talk. I love to talk. Your ex cant lame, but I can lame till you faint. Your ex not sweet enough, but I can sweet till you call for help. Your ex not that caring of you, but me care too much. Your ex dont say, "I love you" but I say it in every sms & everyday. Your ex dont say,"I miss you" but I say it in every sms & everyday. Your ex dont give so much surprises but I gave you all kinds of it. Your ex dont go shopping but I love to shop with you. Your ex dont give comments about your dressing but I always give to make you look more pretty. Your ex smoke but I dont. Your ex go clubbing & allow you to but I dont go clubbing nor allow you to. I treat my friends as No1 as to neglect you. But your ex always neglected you because of friends.

Man, Jesus Christ. You must be kidding me? Do you have plans ahead of me? Everything seems to work so funny & opposite. Neko-Chan recieve someone who she wanted in terms of characters & so on. But I recieve someone who gave me the same treatments as what I gave to my ex. I had tasted enough of my own medicine, that's why I treated Neko-Chan as No1. I want to marry her if not I wont want to be with her. But GOD ARE YOU TOYING WITH MY LIFE!?! I am so tired of life, I need to take sleeping pills to sleep to forget what's my life is in the day. I love Neko-Chan. But must you give us so much barriers? AGE & SURNAME BARRIER are enough for us. Stop giving us more. I want to become stupid! I dont wish to think so much. I want to lead a normal & swete relationship. This will be last girl which I want to marry & determine to. Cant you spare me from everything thats painful & hurting? Let me just enjoy what's LOVE IS ALL ABOUT!?! GOD! I CALLED FOR YOU! WHERE ARE YOU! YOU ANSWER ME! I prayed for you to guide & guard us. But all I recieve is NOTHING BUT TIREDNESS! SPARE ME PLEASE!

Last relationship I had a terrible experience. I went through operations & I got slapped by my ex without any reasons. I got scolded by my ex for nothing. I am tired. Dont make me lost hopes in this relationship or maybe in girls. I might turn into gay or maybe someone who loves only ME, MYSELF & I! I beared enough HURTS & PAINS in me. I had terrible primary & secondary school life. Cant I recieve something better. 1st relationship, everyone thought I was in the wrong. I got backstabbed & scolded by friends. 2nd relationship, for her sake, I left her. She love me a lot, but that time I dont wish to destroy her life. 3rd relationship, I WENT THROUGH HARDSHIPS to grow into what I am today. SOMEONE who is not call LIM JIAN BIN (LJB- LAN JIAO BIN) BUT A GUY, TAKESHI! WHO LOVE MY JAPANESE & NEKO-CHAN! TAKESHI! Stop torturing me. Release me please. I am tired. I wanna fall asleep for a long time...

*\ Takeshi Love Neko-Chan /*

Labels: *\ Takeshi is tired /*