Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Lungs Collapsing!?!
Good job yeah? Nice 1 I should say. Bingo!?! You rawks!?! Finally I feel a burst in Lungs. Rawks On. A step towards the hell gate. A step towards to death yea? Finally, after a year, the same feeling is back? Yeah man. I gonna die of lungs collapse! Woot woot woot! Operation here I come. I miss my operation bed!?! The knifes that cut through my body! Yea. I wanna see blood draining out of my body. That's so cool. Injections that pierce through my skin, deep into my blood vessel and WOSH...
I love the time when I lost my memories!?! It rawks!?! I had a fresh memories! But now it was once corrupted yea? I should say, you helped me to open the hell gate!?! Thank you! =)
I will never forget this day! You are 2nd person who asked me not to fall asleep. Indeed, I was nearly too weak to breathe. I was fainting. The thought of it, memories of my past flashed back quickly. I remembered I was once a good fainter? I always faint. After so long, all pain was back. Thank for that panadol of urs huh? That's relieve my pain for a little moment. Yeah?
I won't waste another breathe to talk to you. I won't waste another moment to tell you your fault. I'm just wasting my time & effort to talk to you yea? Whatever I said, all goes in, all comes out? Nice one. Your ears are liked a tunnel that connects through your head. A clear tunnel! No wonder what you promised, what you heard, what you said, you forget it. That's the problem I think. What for repeat myself & got accused of being naggy? What the hell am I trying to do? Helping to change for better, change for the worst or maybe change your heart for another? Hahas. I don't know. But I know I won't survive long. Soon, I will visit the hospital, stay in & prepare my funeral yea? I want a Grand Funeral!
TTired, shut myself up, built walls around me, stay out of the world's affair & your affair yea? Are you capable of whacking that wall down? Or maybe you might want to help me to build another layer of walls again? Where is my wrong? Being too kind & good? Being too special from other guys? Being too caring & mushy? Being too sensitive & considerate of your feelings? Being too protective of you? Being too promising? Keeping every single promises I made? Should I start breaking one by one by now? Or should I increase my promise one by one? Great job yea? Too submerge into sea of sorrows & hurts. Drowning myself in it. Never to be saved by you. You do not have the ability to save me, because you can't save yourself. If you saved youself, I won't be drowning. Woot... That's hard for you to ever understand yea?
I appreciated what you had done. But each time the hurts you gave covered the love you gave. I could see the change in you. I know you changed. I know you need more time. There are things that even time can't change unless you set your heart in it. But I doubt so. If you did set your heart truely, nothing of sort would happen today. I don't believe in someone who put in his everythings/efforts/heart will not succeed!
Thank you for all you had gave. Vented my anger/sorrows/hurts/sadness/painfulness in here. God Bless my health for I am not entering the Heaven Gate but Hell Gate instead. Amen!
Labels: *\ Takeshi-Neko /*
漆 @ 11:30 pm
