Friday, August 03, 2007
I been on & off for school. Down with Flu. A terrible/killer FLU which screwed up my life. I did not meet Neko-Chan for like 3 days? I felt so neglected or lost without her? She been so busy with her stuffs whereas I'm superb free at home. I don't know how to express. She is busy with her work & her course has started. She will be more busy. Where? Where am I in her heart? In a corner? In a tiny tiny tiny corner? Or forgotten? She is busy but she never express as much. I do not know how she feel. She miss me? Her love decreases? Does she want to meet me? Did she think about me?

Curiosity filled my sickly brain. Negative thoughts from different areas in my brain gathered in my tiny cells. OMG!?! My cells are going to burst with negative thoughts. What am I suppose to do? Find Neko-Chan to share? Oh man. I don't think she is the right choice? She is too busy to even listen to my thoughts? Even if I share, will she understand with her designer brain? Her brain structure is liked a building. Build with computer. She can not think out of box? Her brain can only function according to how she is built with the computer. Lolx. That's how I describe her? Her expressions are just like the outer layer of building. That simple & plain. Whatever emotions or expressions she put on her face, is how she is feeling. That's simple. But is frustrating for someone like me who love to view the inner building. Lolx. But I was totally shut out of her building. Lolx. Or maybe I will lose my way in it.

I wonder what's my brain made up of? Complex cells with different channels of blood vessels? Lolx. Haix. Life comes t this point, I can only say. God, where are you? Kill my cells please. Let me rest in peace & raise to heaven to find you. Amen!

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漆 @ 11:50 pm

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Namae (なまえ): Takeshi (たけし)

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