A&E Tan Tock Seng ( 5 days left )
Bad news for people who cares about me. My report is out. 5 days MC. Under observation.. My left lung is leaking again! Leaking air now. I sealed it last year. But it's all coming back again. My lung will collapse soon? Tiny air leak since Jan, 2007. Now it is still leaking. Tue, 11/12/2007, I will see the consultant. God bless me. If this round I can't cross, operation is waiting for me.
Lungs had been in pain. Wounds had been in pain. Hard of breathing. Fast heartbeat. Everything is a mixture of torture & a step towards death. x((
Received somethings that touched me totally today. 100 cranes made of glossy paper. Cranes are known to wish & bless someone. Totally touched. 100 of them, made through countless of sleepless nights. Rushed home to take, skipped lesson, rushed back to give me. Thank for going through such painful & tiring efforts. I appreciated all! Thank you, Misaki. Domou arigtou gozaimasu. I wondered something. People who do not know me, will worry more for me. People who know me, will worry but won't care more. I myself do not know whether I can cross this a not.
Though I smiled, though I said, " Daijoubu ne. Genki desu! Shinpai jya nai. " But actually, I was feeling scare, worry & smell my death approaching. I don't wish to go for another operation. I don't seem to be as strong as I appear? Strong front? Maybe. Laughing my self away, enjoying myself, trying to be MYSELF.. 5 more days, before I face the real things. The most fearful thing for me in life. Can anyone understands?
I'm afraid the same process rewinded. Went through operation, forget all my friends, lost my memories, forget my loved ones.. Frankly speaking, I really will cherish these 5 days that will come forward. Maybe 1 day, I lay in hospital, little people will know where did I go to? I guess only people who is reading my post now, will know where I will go if I am missing. Hospital? Or off to see Jesus Christ?
Thank people who cares for me. Thank a lot. I won't forget you guys no matter what. I love the cranes. Thank again Misaki. That's touching & thoughtful of you, though I am just nobody that need you to go to such extent. Thank a lot!
Met my God-Brother today. Knew him through maple for 2 yrs +... finally saw him today. Went to Bedok for Kbox singing. Truly, he is a amazing guy. Funny, lame, everything nice to describe him. I enjoyed the moments with him. The singing & so on. He is really another person I won't regret knowing. Though he damm kao bei, but he is overall fine! =)) Sang a lot of loves songs, danced, screamed & did a lot of stupid things. All these will be kept in my memories. Thank for letting me to know you, Edwin Kor!
Neko-Chan: Thank for being with me all this while. I had not been a good boyfriend. Gomanasai! I will cherish the memories you gave me. I can't give you much more.. I regretted for not giving more & so on. Thank for being my girlfriend till now. =)) 5 more days yeah? Hope it's all turned fine. Frankly speaking, let you down a lot times in this 7 mths. You had not give up. I don't know what had pushed you on. But I believed you will stay strong without me? Take care if I'm meet with mishap! I love you.
Melodie: Sorry that I left you 2 yrs ago. Giving you hurts & so on. Now we patched again. I can't stay on with you longer? If I can, I will like to say, "Gomanasai!" Bon Voyage to Thailand on Monday! Take good care. I can't express much. but you know how I feel.
Crystal: Stay strong with your boyfriend. What's is past is past. Move on happily. Thank for staying afar & keep watch on my daily life! Thank for giving past memories too. Sadly, last yr you were there for me at the Hospital, guarding me outside the operation threate, but this yr, you won't? Take care if I can't move further on.
Dominic: Thank brother for being there no matter what! Though I joked with you, have fun with you, sometimes, I feel painful in lungs too. Just wish to say, I had never regret knowing you! Stay strong. Good luck in future.
Jiay Yi & Jorge: Thank for being here for me & concern for me all this while! Hope you two stay strong if I can't be with you guys. Don't fight or quarrel over small things. Take care. God bless you two.
HuiHuan: xie xie ni buddy! Thank for staying & listening to me! You had never complained about me for being so talkative & noisy. Thank. I trusted you & you really did made me trust you! Take care! God bless you.
Rebby: Though for 13 yrs, I had spent only about 2 yrs with ya. I should not have left you alone in life! Take care sister! You are my longest & most worthy friend of life! I love you sister!
Benjamin: Hey gay faggot. I wonder if you know about my condition a not. Since you never read my blog de! Whatever it is, I wanna say. Thank for being with me for this 10 yrs! You are my best gay partner & buddy! God bless you in future! Don't be sad over me & worry abt me k?
Misaki: Thank for appearing in my life. Making me happy, cheer me & be there for me. Thank a lot. =)) I don't know what to say, but really thank a lot!?! Please learn to be smarter & not be so sotong in life. You will get easily cheated by others. Don't go drinking anymore k? Take good care k!?!
There are many more I wanna thank! But not enough space! Thank all who loved me & missed me! I love you guys & yes... Pray for me YEAH!?! =)) Takeshi will alwae be with you.
